imaginary friends

Birthday :D

It was my 40th birthday and I wasn’t feeling too great when I woke up that morning. I went down to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say “Happy Birthday” and probably have a present for me. She didn’t even say “Good Morning,” let alone “Happy Birthday.” I figured, “Well, that’s wives for you. The children will remember.” The children came down to breakfast and didn’t say a word. When I started to the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary Janet said, “Good Morning, Boss, Happy Birthday.” I felt a little better - at least someone had remembered. I worked until noon, then Janet knocked on my door and said, “You know, it is such a beautiful day outside and it’s your birthday, let’s go to lunch, just you and me.” I said, “By George, that’s the greatest thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go. We went to lunch. We didn’t go where we normally go. We went out into the country to a little private place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously. On the way back to the office, she said, “You know, it is such a beautiful day, we don’t need to go back to the office, do we?” I said, “No, I guess not.” She said, “Let’s go to my apartment.” After arriving at her apartment, she smiled at me and said, “If you don’t mind, I think I’ll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable.” Mad at my wife for forgetting about my birthday, not to mention that Janet was quite beautiful, I felt justified in staying. “Sure,” I excitedly replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a few minutes, she came out carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife, children and dozens of our friends. They were all singing Happy Birthday … and there I sat on the couch … naked.

(Source: fuckthatshiiit, via dubstepraves)

Posted 1 year ago — 3,592 notes